Eva Marschan-Hayes, 'Neurodivergent in a neurotypical world'. Illustration, 1991
Neurodivergent in a neurotypical world by Eva Marschan-Hayes
Illustration and poem
Artist statement: I am a neuro divergent poet and visual artist, exploring loss, belonging, memory and spirituality. This work originates from a drawing created in 1991, expressing my feelings of “not being able to be myself” in a neurotypical world. Worst, I felt that institutions, including schools and hospitals, tried to make me fit in. In those days there was little understood about neurodivergence, but I always knew that I differed from the norm. After my ASD /ADHD diagnosis (at almost 57) the theme has become relevant again. I digitally reworked the drawing and given it the title: “Neurodivergent in a Neurotypical World.
The poem below relates to this image.
Neurodivergent in a neurotypical world
How could I survive,
In loud, busy, buzzing spaces,
People running
In hamster wheels
Meeting after meeting,
Work, courses, more work, every hour in the day booked.
Calendars filled,
No empty spaces.
Competition, who runs faster,
who produces best, who produces more.
Running, running, no time to pause, to reflect.
Sorry I don’t fit in.
Grey Houses… and more grey houses, walls feel like a prison….
Roads, cars running speedily. I have problems crossing.
Perfumed toxins in the air, sticking on peoples, bodies, hair, polluting the air, feeling sick.
Noises, people talking, shouting, babies crying, phones ringing, car alarms, burglar alarms,
cars, motor bikes, noises all mixed, hurting my ears…shivers down my spine.
Several empty, decaying houses, people sitting on the road, with no roof over their heads,
just wrapped in plastic bags…I stop by, we talk, feel sad, angry, powerless…
Feeling dizzy, too much happening, too many energies mingling…
Body aching, tingling.
Too much stimulation, my brain runs faster and faster..
HELP … I cease to function; I crave for space…
I am neurodiverse by nature, experience traumas in the family, have breakdowns-
hospitalization, medication for normalisation.
I don’t think linear, I think in depth, holistically- details matter.
I don’t function, can’t follow orders or instructions- can’t drive a car.
Institutions try their best to make me fit in.
Experts, define my narrative.
What I can and can’t do, dulling medication, no higher education.
I need to break free, just become me.
I decide I do not just want to survive- I want to thrive.
Stop hindering medication.
Travel over water,
Find a soulmate,
Settle in a little, slow paced liberal minded place
Nature, lots of space
Chicken, rabbits, tortoises, and birds in need all part of the family.
Continue education, proof the experts wrong, complete a PhD about the English judiciary.
Become a carer
return to my artistic gifts.
Embracing imaginary and intuitive parts,
right brain half.
Creating to play, to experiment, to flow,
to express, to process and to grow.
Art works, photos to bring light to those who need it the most.
Teaching people who have it hard,
to have a voice through writing and with art.
Follow Eva on Instagram at @evas.poetic.imagery
Eva Marschan-Hayes, 'Neurodivergent in a neurotypical world'. Illustration, 1991
Neurodivergent in a neurotypical world by Eva Marschan-Hayes
Illustration and poem
Artist statement: I am a neuro divergent poet and visual artist, exploring loss, belonging, memory and spirituality. This work originates from a drawing created in 1991, expressing my feelings of “not being able to be myself” in a neurotypical world. Worst, I felt that institutions, including schools and hospitals, tried to make me fit in. In those days there was little understood about neurodivergence, but I always knew that I differed from the norm. After my ASD /ADHD diagnosis (at almost 57) the theme has become relevant again. I digitally reworked the drawing and given it the title: “Neurodivergent in a Neurotypical World.
The poem below relates to this image.
Neurodivergent in a neurotypical world
How could I survive,
In loud, busy, buzzing spaces,
People running
In hamster wheels
Meeting after meeting,
Work, courses, more work, every hour in the day booked.
Calendars filled,
No empty spaces.
Competition, who runs faster,
who produces best, who produces more.
Running, running, no time to pause, to reflect.
Sorry I don’t fit in.
Grey Houses… and more grey houses, walls feel like a prison….
Roads, cars running speedily. I have problems crossing.
Perfumed toxins in the air, sticking on peoples, bodies, hair, polluting the air, feeling sick.
Noises, people talking, shouting, babies crying, phones ringing, car alarms, burglar alarms,
cars, motor bikes, noises all mixed, hurting my ears…shivers down my spine.
Several empty, decaying houses, people sitting on the road, with no roof over their heads,
just wrapped in plastic bags…I stop by, we talk, feel sad, angry, powerless…
Feeling dizzy, too much happening, too many energies mingling…
Body aching, tingling.
Too much stimulation, my brain runs faster and faster..
HELP … I cease to function; I crave for space…
I am neurodiverse by nature, experience traumas in the family, have breakdowns-
hospitalization, medication for normalisation.
I don’t think linear, I think in depth, holistically- details matter.
I don’t function, can’t follow orders or instructions- can’t drive a car.
Institutions try their best to make me fit in.
Experts, define my narrative.
What I can and can’t do, dulling medication, no higher education.
I need to break free, just become me.
I decide I do not just want to survive- I want to thrive.
Stop hindering medication.
Travel over water,
Find a soulmate,
Settle in a little, slow paced liberal minded place
Nature, lots of space
Chicken, rabbits, tortoises, and birds in need all part of the family.
Continue education, proof the experts wrong, complete a PhD about the English judiciary.
Become a carer
return to my artistic gifts.
Embracing imaginary and intuitive parts,
right brain half.
Creating to play, to experiment, to flow,
to express, to process and to grow.
Art works, photos to bring light to those who need it the most.
Teaching people who have it hard,
to have a voice through writing and with art.
Follow Eva on Instagram at @evas.poetic.imagery
